Putting Life on Hold
"Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone, to experience, appreciate and love yourself."
I’m giving myself a mental health week. I have noticed this week especially that I’ve been running more on autopilot rather than consciously living and enjoying things. I have also just felt exhausted even in the beginning of the day after having woken up. I cannot really put my finger on what exactly is off, but I can tell that I could be happier.
I read through my diary entries from this week (something I always do to check in with myself) and realised that I need a little break. Winter break was meant to be that break but with the situation of my grandpa it was honestly not really a break for me. My grandfather tested positive for COVID-19 on Christmas Eve and was hospitalised due to his condition on New Year's Eve. He had to have surgery while he was in the hospital and he is now in temporary care while still recovering. We as a family are now trying to sort everything out in terms of paperwork, insurance claims, and decisions regarding future care.
University gives you a lot of freedom regarding when you do your work and I normally don’t push something to another day but I am going to do exactly that for the next week: basically, I am pretty much just gonna do the bare minimum of what I need to do to be prepared for my lectures but not more than that unless I feel like it. The idea is to give myself as much of a break as possible while having classes. That is something that you should definitely not do regularly, but your mental health comes first. Especially in university and with many support options being unavailable due to classes having been moved online, it is important that you look out for yourself and if you need some time off work, try to give yourself that time and do not judge yourself for needing that time.
In my first year of uni, I never gave myself a break when I needed it and that did not turn out so well. I have promised myself since then that I am going to listen to myself more about what I need and so I have decided to give myself this week. Honestly, I feel a lot more positive looking at the coming week just because I know that I made this decision. It took a little weight off my shoulders and made me look forward to the next few days - not because I have any concrete plans of what I am going to do with my free time, but rather because the complete opposite is true: I have nothing planned and I know I can sleep in a little or just finish the book that I am currently reading without stressing over something.
I am also just going to go onto my socials when I feel like it and I am not going to do any live study with me sessions because I want to be able to freely decide what I am going to do each day - I might still study a lot on some days, but I also might spend a day mainly reading a book from my to-be-read list.
I will be fully back the week after but will probably pop in on my socials every once in a while❤️
Look after yourself.
Lots of Love,
P.S.: The title picture of this article was taken by Jan Z.